While waiting in the doctor’s office for my husband’s post-operative visit, I whiled away the time perusing the medical magazines.  I came across an article (which contained the title phrase), about foot problems.  It stated that 30% of women had trouble with their feet, primarily due to wearing high heels.  I immediately thought of how I used to LOVE donning high- heeled shoes, and wondered if I would have moderated their usage if I knew I would be bothered with current foot problems? Probably not.  What young person really believes that there may be adverse effects in 20 or 30 years because of their current preferences and decisions?

This set me to thinking about the (unfortunate) early choices that we all make, which often have serious repercussions throughout life.  Think about the advice would you now consider or proffer (for yourself or others), in similar situations or important junctures in life:

• Informed decisions – get as much information as possible, weighing the pros and cons of the issues.  Even if the decision turns out to be far from ideal, take solace in knowing that the choice was the right one given the facts at hand.
• Consultations – gather and weigh the feedback from those whose judgment you trust: family members, friends, mentors, or seek various types of professional input.
• Choice points – akin to “the road less traveled…”- have you ACTUALLY paid too high a price for picking the “wrong” option?  Is it possible that a fantasy has been constructed about what life would be like if other alternatives were taken?
• “If I knew then what I know now” – an oft-repeated phrase, but how realistic is it?  Do you feel that you’ve learned from past mistakes or errors in judgment?  How did the “zeitgeist” of the time in which those decisions were made affect your choices?
• Blaming the victim – some people simply pay a higher price than others for the life decisions they make.  Since there’s no changing the past, it’s more productive to focus on what can be done to help that person in the here and now, rather than remonstrating with endless “should haves, would haves or could haves”.
• Walk a mile in another’s shoes – (hate to be so “punny”), but it’s easy to claim, with great certitude, what you would or wouldn’t do in a variety of complicated and thorny situations.  Have there been times when you found yourself saying or doing something, or behaving in a way which seemed totally foreign to you? Why?
• Self forgiveness – we all screw up, which is inherent in being human.  What was learned from past experiences and mistakes?  Were there some benefits in those choices, even though the results have been less than hoped for?

And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!