Two weeks ago, while my husband was still in hospital, it seemed as if an infection was rearing its ugly head (mercifully, this turned out to be a false alarm), but I did begin to despair.  The vicissitudes of an illness or life threatening situation indubitably takes a heavy physical and emotional toll, not only upon the patient or victim, but also on that person’s loved ones.  This in no way minimizes the pain and suffering the patient or victim is experiencing, but it does underscore the need for caretakers to exercise self- care and do a good deal of self-nurturing.

If you find yourself in any of the above roles, consider these helpful ideas:

• “Pick yourself up, dust yourself off…” – setbacks can feel like a punch in the solar plexus, so take a (very) deep breath and readjust your mindset, accepting more uncertainty than originally expected.
• Supportive surroundings – while the love and caring of family and friends cannot be underestimated, stressful situations may heighten the need to join a support group and/or seek professional help.
• Accentuate the positive – it’s totally legitimate to be encouraged by any forward motion; baby steps (no matter how infinitesimal), do count.
• Engagement – routines can be very comforting, particularly those that have positive connotations; keep your work or social schedule as close to normal as possible, making adjustments as various circumstances dictate.
• Self-pampering – getting enough sleep is first and foremost, but massages, time off to do something fun, and being with those you love is essential.
• Plan B – during trying times the best laid plans often have to accommodate crash landings; rather than looking for perfect solutions, think outside the box, seek others’ input and advice and try on ideas that might have previously been considered a bit far-fetched inadequate.
• Saturation points – give yourself permission to be human and accept that there are times when you’ve simply “had it”, when your limits have been breached; it’s time to either scream, retreat, or take some time off or get away before being able to again marshal your forces.

And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!

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And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!