A Simple “Yes” Will Do

Being a yes man (or woman) needn’t be equated with a milquetoast or wimpy persona. Sometimes “No” is merely an all too familiar knee-jerk reaction to things untried and unconsidered, putting a damper on enthusiasm, experimentation and experience. In reality, a “Yes” person has more choices and is less bogged down by the fear of doing things differently. Being open to new ideas, ventures, and both life’s joys and curve balls, actually increases the likelihood of your being able to have influence and impact upon them. Why think there is only one road with one set of rules to travel down as you wend your way through life?

Here are some keys to unlock a variety of positive responses, maximizing the gains they’ll bring:

· Try it, you’ll like it – instead of the automatic default button that nixes new opportunities, invitations, music, foods, clothes, etc., change your mindset to, ‘Why not?”, and forge ahead.

· Opens up a dialogue – increases your chances of truly interacting with others, enabling better and more thoughtful decisions, creating a greater sense of trust among family, friends, or co-workers.

· Relish the rush –excitement and engagement is a sure way to get your adrenaline pumping, while learning to affirm the reality of the here and now.

· “Yes, but…” – or, “Yes, and…” is not truly an affirmative, as the excuse is already built into the response; a (hidden) “No” that lurks behind the veneer of morality (a more socially acceptable way of finding fault with others’ ideas, responses, approaches), or masks the fear of trying something novel.

· Outside your comfort zone –fear of change stifles spontaneity and improvisation; shape your own destiny by responding affirmatively to challenges, becoming mindful of the power you wield upon life choices and directions.

· Accentuate the positive – a resounding “Yea!” makes more sense (particularly with self-talk), when valid reasons and concrete information are given – write them down whenever possible.

· Begin at the beginning – take baby steps, getting practice before opting for something dramatic; establish easy exercises that alter your perspective, adding one new task each week.

· Re-phrasing/reframing – change that automatic negative default button to the flip side: “Will do”; “Right”; “Sure”; “I will”; “Okay”; “Of course”; You bet”; “You’re right”; “I hear you”; “Certainly”; “Great!”

· Quest for flawlessness – constantly seeking absolutes and the ideal stultifies the ability to respond positively; time to minimize harsh judgments and accept imperfections.

• Mimic optimistic role model(s) – use (or develop), your acting skills by being the person(s) whose skills, talent or accomplishments you most admire, incorporating those capabilities into a constructive repertoire.
• Stop catastrophizing – rather than focusing on all the awful things that might happen, surprise yourself and enjoy thinking about and experiencing the good things that can occur; boo-boos need not be seen as tragic, viewing mistakes as opportunities.

· Curiosity as a substitute for control – a paradigm shift from having to be in charge or needing certainty over outcomes, to a mindset that values learning and inquisitiveness.

• Schedule a “Yes” fest – pick a day when you’ll say “Yes” to all ideas, requests, and experiences (without throwing common sense out the window!), accepting what’s offered, rather than opting for your usual favorites. Note any differences in the responses you get.

And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!